I nearly killed myself today with the equivalent of a butt-dial on my phone. I was working outside next to my garage when I noticed little flecks of something falling from the inside of my canoe, which is upside-down on a couple sawhorses next to the garage. Today was a scorcher for late April, and I immediately suspected it was hornets building a nest. I crouched down to get a peek but couldn’t see anything at that angle.

Let me say, I consider myself to be as fearless as the next guy. I used to climb poles and handle 13,000 volts for a living. I spar with professional fighters. I’ve even dutifully stood by while the Mrs. was bra shopping at the mall. But I’m scared of hornets…I hate them. I’ve been stung many times in the process of changing lightbulbs in streetlights for ten years. It may be my imagination, but it hurts worse and swells more each time.

So I moved to the middle of the canoe and carefully squatted down to get underneath and try and catch a glimpse of any nest-building going on in the front of the canoe. I squat-shuffled about two steps and inadvertently unpaused the song on my phone that I was blaring on the way home from church through my bluetooth stereo. Skillet’s Rebirthing broke the tense silence and nearly gave me a heart attack! It was loud enough that it vibrated in my pocket and added that extra hornet-like effect to the brief panic and disorientation.

Here’s the song that nearly killed me today.